Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore, let us go forth to him outside the camp, bearing his reproach. For we have no continuing city here, but we seek one to come.
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From a question of a young sister in the Lord, trying to find her way.
Dear Pastor John:
I’ve been meaning to write you forever - I guess I’m experiencing the effects of my business in Christianity. I have a pulling in my heart that won’t let me go - and I know I need to leave my church. It’s been extremely hard for me though, because I’ve been so entangled with the people’s lives there. You know, I only today read through that church’s website with their statement of faith, etc... after 2-1/2 years of total commitment, only now do I think it’s important to really understand what they believe. And what I’m hearing on Sundays just doesn’t feel right anymore. I think I can safely say that I’m in turmoil, though I’ve had the holy Spirit since my very first steps as a believer, I feel as though I don’t know anything anymore. I feel weary and shut down, and afraid to let it all go, at the same time. I’m trying to find a way to explain to them what’s happening with me, and why I need to go. Could you explain for me Jesus’ “Great Commission” that most churches seem to take as their personal instruction to reach out to the lost, grow in numbers, and do stuff “for Jesus”? What does this Great Commission mean to me? How am I to understand it? I’d appreciate it greatly. I’m starting to listen and read your teachings - and just pray that the Lord will stay patient with me as I fumble through my mess. love, A.M.
Thank you so much for writing. It is so good to hear from you!
The only reason I had the strength to renounce Christianity (Xty) is the mercy of God. I am no better, wiser, or stronger than anyone. I pray constantly that God will show the same mercy to others, and I know that He intends to do just that. My hope is that you perceived enough about my spirit for me to be able to speak plainly to you of Xty and yet leave with you no impression of hatred or malice toward Christians. What I say about that dark religion often comes across as mean-spirited, but there is none of that in my heart toward the people within Christianity. Quite the contrary. I speak plainly because I love them, and the darkness inside Xty is so great that if I speak subtly, those whom I love cannot understand my meaning. Paul said, “Seeing then that we have such hope, we use great plainness of speech.” That is what I also do. I hope that you sense that about me, and trusting that you do know that, I will speak frankly to you about Christianity and its ungodly ways.
The pressure exerted on people by Xn ministers with the made-up phrase, “the great commission”, is cruel and completely without any ordination of God. Jesus told his disciples to “go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature”. He did not tell me to do that, at least not yet, nor did he say that to you (at least, not yet). The underlying reason for Christian ministers telling their congregations that Jesus’ commandment to “go into all the world” applies to them is to get more money out of them and more work. Don’t go anywhere or help anyone else go anywhere unless Jesus tells you to. Wicked men have transformed those precious words of the Savior into a tool of oppression, and many of God’s people submit to that wickedness, ignorant of what is being done to their spirits.
Dear A.M., if Jesus wants you to go somewhere, or wants you to help send one of his servants somewhere, can he not speak to YOU? (I wish I could explain this as plainly as I see it!) This is the heart of practically every issue that one can raise, vis-a-vis Christianity. In the kingdom of God, A.M., Jesus speaks to his people; in Christianity, people are led by doctrines, institutions, and traditions of men. Even concerning the new birth, in Xty men tell men when they are right with God; but in the kingdom of God, the Spirit speaks, “crying out, Abba, Father”, when we are born again. The kingdom of God is founded and sustained by God’s word; Xty is founded and sustained only by what men say. Do you understand this?
As for “doing something for Jesus”, have you ever noticed that there is no such exhortation found in the Bible? The Christian call to “do something for Jesus” is just another vain catch-phrase used by Xn ministers to put enough guilt on people that they will do as they are told. We can do nothing for Jesus, A.M. As King David said, “My goodness, O Lord, does not extend to you, but to the saints who are in the earth.” Jesus has already been blessed by the Father so much that we can add nothing to him. We can do nothing for him. The truth will teach you that we must instead humble ourselves to allow Jesus to do things for us. But humility is in short supply within the gates of Christianity. And if you stay inside, it will puff you up, too.
You have discovered, A.M., that you know nothing. Do you know what that means? It means that you have rediscovered your first love of Christ, the love that Xty stole from your heart. And it means that Jesus can talk to you again and teach you again. Please do not allow Xn ministers again to interfere. Get out! Remember the exhortation of Solomon to his young son: “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you perceive not in him the lips of knowledge.” You are beginning to wake up, A.M. Why be put back to sleep? Why return to be injected again with that spiritual drug that dulls the senses to the leading of God’s sweet Spirit? What do you owe to Xty? What did it do for you except cloud your mind, confuse your spirit, and burden you with things that Jesus never wanted for you?
I am afraid that I am coming across too strong. But I feel it so deeply, and I see it so clearly. Sometimes, I feel like screaming out to all of Xty the words of God through Moses, “Let my people go!” I believe with all my heart that God will make His cry to be heard, A.M. And when it is, I believe that there will be such an exodus out of the abomination of Xty that it will make Moses jealous. In the meantime, I will continue my work with as much love and compassion for my brothers and sisters within the prison of Xty as Jesus will grant me to have.
May God keep your heart from every snare and open your understanding to the beauty of His holiness. God bless you, A.M.